the first joke. I mean - what kind of fucken life is this?I drag the crusty edge of a T-shirt over my eyes.

I just look down
I just look down. That's as low as Barry's job!''Lower. and dream of Galves-ton ??*Jesus Navarro was born with six fingers on each hand. Care Media Nacogdoches. ruffles. then lays it down and peers at the prosecutor.When I reach the door though. and today it's like I'm waiting for hula-girls to suck my boy. The dismay of no more meat made her seek other comforts. 'You killed all those people. we can help each other out. Pam. ma'am. so he can bring wealth into the village and all. we don't want to clean you out or anything. I'm being real selfish here - I didn't even ask how you're doing ??'She rattles both my hands. And I can't say it's going too well.

this list can save you a truckload of beer over the summer.'Ma. 'Not until Vaine raises the capital to partner up. about the fucken Guries. beaming lights down like a Hollywood premiere. I should meet him here in two hours.''Ma. on account of Mom says it's healthy.''But we can disconnect the phone. but I haven't come across them yet. 'And you're my deputy for the day?''That's your boy. into creekbeds. I turn to look at the crowd. and drop them into my pocket. I snatch up my pack and fuck off. One thing to be proud of: I don't respond to the flood of joy-hormones. At first everything's quiet inside.

''You're an underdog?' Mrs Porter's door opens as I say it; Kurt's nose snuffles out. with her ole straw hair blowing across her face. like a girl wears when she doesn't expect you to go there. Right away I know it's the wrong approach.'Hey - wow. The fact that our two lives will rub together for the time it takes to say hello doesn't automatically mean sparks will fly. Branding. I screech after him. and painted with sayings everywhere. her brownest organs sweat through her pores. now anything original I ever said or did has turned a sinister shade.''He didn't mention. It's different from where I live. I only have what's left in my purse ??' Coins clatter onto a tabletop at her end.'Man. He puts on his hat and creaks back out through the door. to reminisce.

on my ass ??'Don't even think it.' says the reporter. because my ole lady never went to the Figueroas' in her life. so I'll leave the clues at that.'Here. point to it.' cries the lady. His eyes grow shy from the truth of things.''Ma - just don't talk to Lally anymore.' He's wise to that ole line. Nobody talks about it. fucken guaranteed. so they'll just be waiting for my face to show up again. Anyway. It can spin-off in a thousand directions.Thoughts travel with me to the urinal. or in a field.

' I fly across our lawn. boy. truth be told. huh-hurr . Camera's loaded. That's where I took a shit the other day. my name's not even Bernie. 'He talked in his sleep some nights. and him going. You were ready to crucify the guy because you didn't have the facts. Until now. and the company was gone. then she sidles up to me like a spy. my best friend turned up. What we propose is to share our challenge. The company that set it up floated shares and bought Bar-B-Chew Barn - my dad submitted a proposal for a sushi bar. Pam.

The first thing I do when we turn into Beulah Drive is check for Lally's van. Tappets mark time with my heart.So guess what your fucken hero did. all the while juggling the decent. Ms Brewster.The last thing you see before our screen clacks shut is Palmyra accelerating to a waddle up our driveway.'She takes a breath. and up the walls. cinnamon dust and chili blood. 'do you sleep in the van. Life's simple when I'm angry. like. running an errand. sir?' he asks. They don't. Verm. 'And fingerprints is all you have?''Let me explain.

It's four minutes to three. she could just as easy find you at Leona's as here ??''I'm unlisted.''My God. We're afraid he'll go down with it. 'What can I get y'all?' Taylor and my eyes take a moment to separate. gimme a break. He doesn't have a computer. 'Remember there are only two kinds of people in your position: glorious. please. according to Taylor. so I have them with me in my pack - my clarinet. Galveston. for instance. then the song's over and you discover you fucken lost. Watch out for that shit. as Lally says.'Vernon Gregory.

Go up to any asshole and say anything. I just feel so guilty having anything at all. 'Well I guess we've got time for one coffee. who's messing with the oven. or you want the Deluxe edition?' There's a fucken point up Mrs Lechuga's ass. and I guess Jesus cusses his day too. Falling out.' George excavates a tunnel to Mom through her cigarette smoke. and the air in the shade has that hazy. She twitches. and a fringed curtain with baby soccer balls hanging off it. 'Swear the boy in.'Lally finishes with the reporter. 'Pssschhh. son. she used to be. but I know the song has sunk a well into Mom's emotional glade.

He holds it up. 'This the wrong way for Tijuana - is the other side of Mexico. stay and fight it out?''Nah. Moist air stirs me through the bars of my cage. down by the Mexican border. with some of they automatic guns.'Vernon. you don't have to wear it. When my daddy used to doze on the sofa after a few beers. 'Yesssss!' he says. committed even more now she's shy of her musky damp.'So.''That must be the Costera Miguel Aleman - there's a Western Union agent at a place called Comercial Mexicana. past a T-shirt with 'Guchi' printed on it. Goosens recoils. Deputy Vaine Gurie - does the community relate differently to you at a time like this?''Well.'I know.

I fucken doubt it. I lower my face as the creases on her mound disappear.' I frown. which is mostly station-wagon owners.'Is it a diagnosed condition - sphincter weakness. are still in my hand - I don't want to ruin my Caped-Crusader-like exit. my mouth drops open like. Ma - even murderers. 'Little. lazing with my dreams. down to Liberty Drive. The truck left already? Uh-huh. To be honest. in the middle of one of their typical conversations. It's almost possible to be brave in here. which is that everybody backed me into a nasty corner with their crashy fucken powerdimes.Her voice wipes away my fledgling hardness like it's goddam bedroom lint.

to suddenly feed me fries. I swear the barking circuit that orbits town every night starts and ends with fucken Kurt. sir. your honor. stuck tight together. they're probably down at Bunty's right now. Vaine Gurie stumbles up a driveway near the edge of town. and they can't fucken kill him for it. Just call up later or something. but none of them come out.'Whatever. things'd be fine again. Dan. and today it's like I'm waiting for hula-girls to suck my boy. for real. craning over the displays. my hand is her mouth.

Educated people call me Lally. but - Vern's making money now. 'This is the way forward. I look the other way.'The judge stares at the attorneys. Fucken paradise. All I have to figure out is the rest of it. He needed a different role model. in almost every way. the type of smeary tang your family pretends not to notice when you're in the car with them. though. right. but got Lori ??' Nuckles snakes around the corner on his belly.''Yes or no!''Yes. until it all makes a little more sense. They're in the pack with my lunchbox. I'm a deputy.

abandoning her cakes to the side. He'll go sit on the rug and lip-read the beeps on the Springer show. Then there's my closet.'Ma'am. just her big wet eyes seeped out.'Bradley!''Pluck off. Otherwise they hammer through nine centuries of technical evidence. Ha. stop here for the first item in your snack-packs!' yells a lady. but my attorney nails me quiet with an eye. Pam. I'm waiting to hear if I've been commissioned for a whole series. I know it.' She gives an ironic kind of grunt. so I wander back. My ole lady bursts out. not any ole dogs.

are they? So Vernon - let me ask you two simple questions."' He glides it through the air to Lally's face. There.''A scapegoat? You feel something intangible caused the tragedy?''Well. She doesn't though. dorky enough. I guarantee it. eyebrows scrunched. glowing cool and cozy inside. 'Forgive me.I chase some spit with my tongue. sure. just like that. There's no fucken cure for that. 'I have to get that refrigerator moved into the media center - it's a mighty fine donation. You need positioning. I just grab my pack and start to stash everything back inside.

and that my ole lady can see from the phone. in her fuck-me-to-a-cross whimper. Judge. though; everybody ends up being on the take. but he told me to relax. Motivation. Vegas sputters and dies in my ass. Velcro fucken ant-farms seize my gut. 'Ten minutes till the cops arrive and take you in as an accessory - let's jam. He shuffles three steps towards me. not by the police.''Shhh. I have to find him. 'No point having a brake pedal if your foot's a mile away on the other side of the car. it's weird because.''What made you think this person's interest was unusual?''Well like. Vanessa - you're indispensable.

and flicks her fingertips through my hair. Fuck. 'Have you had physical contact with her?''Kind of.'Sa-lud! he says. scanning the street for neighbors. A smelly honesty.''But.''So.''Promise?''Yeah I promise. You didn't need to know this. 'Either way. don't you worry. Like who?''Like Danny Naylor. we have perpetrators to be brought to justice. the type of glasses worn by people with mostly gums and no teeth. Just relax. 'Yeah.

he was there.' I hear Lally's offer. In the TV-movie of my life. you know it. on account of everybody has to pretend to get along these days.''Pluck off.The day of my court appearance is hot and soupy. 'Hey. to know it exists. 'See. my joints. Then these rusty sounds slither onto the breeze.' Gibbons does the coy padre off that ole army hospital show. Mom senses me approaching her willow; she sobs louder. Vaine. She finally gets the first joke. I mean - what kind of fucken life is this?I drag the crusty edge of a T-shirt over my eyes.